Marty and The News

News.

Pope Francis makes bold statement for God. The Pope has always spoken for God, according to the Catholic religion. But normally when the Pope is asked how God feels about a particular topic, the Pope has to go to his Pope Chamber and ask him. But when Pope Francis was asked about how God feels about slave Labor in Bangladesh, he didn't do that. He immediatly answered that God is against it. Leaving many to wonder if God really feels that way or if Pope Francis is just putting words in his mouth. Many Catholics are saying slave labor in Bangladesh is a common conversation for God and the Pope. Pope Francis was already aware of the answer. Some Catholics are saying Francis shouldn't be so haste when speaking for God.

"I wasn't looking for sex, I just wanted to know where the gay bars were," Christian blogger. Matt Moore has spoken out several times against homosexuality in his blog and has now been caught on the gay-dating app Grindr. Moore admits that he is sexually attracted to other men, but has been fighting off the feelings because he believes it is a sin. According to Moore, he wasn't looking for sex, he was just looking for someone to show him where they gay bars were in New Orleans and maybe take him there.  No sex.

New York City man can't figure out how sink works, sues city for $150 million.

The first time I ate at a restaurant and used their restroom, I couldn’t figure out how to use the sink; it was one of those automatic motion-sensor faucets. I had to get someone to show me what to do, and I felt embarrassed.

Those are those words of David Ranta, who is suing the city for $150 million for his ordeal. Ranta had been in prison for 22 years, but was released in March when it was found he didn't commit the murder. 

Parents get 5-year-old boy .22-caliber rifle for birthday, shoots sister in the face.

Is that a hostel bathroom?

Amanda Bynes' bathroom isn't very cute. Her face also looks funny. Boobs decent.

Gay, former MLB player Glenn Burke introduced the high-five. A National gay athlete hall of fame has been opened in Chicago. When asked as to whether or not Jason Collins would be in it, "he'll probably make it, but it's more for players like Glenn Burke," said hall of fame organizer Bill Gubrud. Burke, who is now deceased, came out after his playing days, but is widely credited with introducing the world to the high-five. Upon learning about the high-five news, several other hall of fames are strongly considering inducting Glenn Burke. 

That's it. That's the news.

Marty and The News

News.

Pope to quit being the Pope at the end of the month. Pope Benedict XVI claims to be stepping down due to health concerns. Critics say this is the Catholic Church trying to prove that the Pope actually does stuff. The Pope has been under fire for hundreds of years. People say that he doesn't do anything. He's just a guy who steps out on a balcony every once and awhile and has his own car. Critics claim this is just the church trying to prove the Pope does have responsibilities. That's why he has to step down due to health issues. He can no longer carry out his responsibilities, due to his poor health. Despite him stepping down, it's still not clear as to whether or not the Pope does anything.


Annual Kumbh Mela stampede in India leaves 37 dead. The Kumbh Mela festival, also known as the Pitcher Festival, is one of the biggest religious festivals in the world. Dozens die every year in the festivals annual stampede. The stampede has been compared to the Running of the Bulls in Spain, except without the bulls. Festival organizers say they may discontinue the stampede for future festivals.

Ellen, lover of boobs.

Ellen looks at Katy Perry's boobs. Everyone forgets that Ellen is a lesbian for a brief moment and freaks out.

Old truck

Woman gets new truck. Other than the fact that it was a vehicle resembling a truck, LAPD shot up a truck that looked nothing like the one they were looking for. Inside the truck, was a mother and daughter who were delivering newspapers. The LAPD has vowed to rectify this situation by giving the women a new truck. Some are saying this is a slippery slope. The LAPD is always just shooting vehicles up and asking questions later. Millions of people in the market for a new vehicle have flocked to LA in hopes of getting a new one.

The White family is suing Disneyland for racial discrimination. Razzi White, a 5-year-old boy, was excited when he saw Donald Duck. It's confusing because the White family is black. Just try to remember that. The young White boy, who is black, started saying Donald Duck's name and opened his arms wide. The black White boy was hoping for a hug from the Disney character. Instead, Donald Duck snubbed White and went to hug a white baby in a stroller. The baby's race was white. He didn't go to hug the youngest child of the White family, who is black. The lawyer of the White family has confirmed that they are suing Disneyland. He claims that Donald Duck didn't hug White because he was black.

Teachers no longer able to do funny things in class. There used to be a time when a teacher could put pencil shavings in a sleeping student's mouth with impunity. That just isn't the case anymore.

Death of very large crocodile is mourned in Philippines. Lolong was the largest saltwater crocodile in captivity. An autopsy is being performed to determine the cause of death. Villagers from all across the country showed up to pay their respects to the large croc. Lolong is responsible for the death of dozens of villagers throughout it's life. None of those deaths were ever mourned to the extent that the crocodile's death was.

That's it. That's the news.