February 21st Edition

Arizona passes some kind of Bill that people are upset about. All the Bill says is that people now have the right to refuse to do things if it's against the religious beliefs. An example would be if you were a restaurant owner who believed gay people shouldn't eat steak, you could force them to eat chicken instead. But that gay guy could in turn say it's against his religion to pay for chicken that he eats. I think that is how the Bill, that will likely become law, works.

Gap loudly raises minimum wage for workers in America, quietly lowers wages for workers in Bangladesh. Gap announced that by 2015 the minimum wage for all their employees would be $10 an hour. Critics of Gap have been giving praises all week because of the announcement. Gay has been criticized in the past for the way they treat their workers in Bangladesh. What Gap forgot to mention, is that the wage increase only applies to it's American employees. The workers in Bangladesh will see a decrease in pay. Gap currently pays them $7 a day. By 2015 that will be down to $3.50 a day to offset the wage increase in America.

Surgeon, druggie, cookie lover? All three?

Girl Scout sells cookies to guy in surgical gloves outside of marijuana dispensary. Rumors have been running rampant about who the man in surgical gloves is. Most agree on the fact that he is clearly a surgeon who left in the middle of surgery. They disagree on why he left while performing surgery. Was he leaving to buy some pot? Was he leaving to buy Girl Scout cookies? Was he leaving to buy both? Whatever the reason, he clearly left in the middle of surgery and happened to find a place that sold both Girl Scout cookies and pot within feet of each other. The man clearly looks interested in the cookies. Is it because he is high? What kind of surgery was the man performing? Nothing but questions surround the circumstances behind this picture. A very select few say the man works at the dispensary and he handles the marijuana with surgical gloves. Feh!

January was record breaking warm, America was cold and doesn't care. Last month was the fourth warmest January since 1880. That's when accurate records on global temperatures started being kept. America was really cold though. Most Americans are taking to the streets and protesting the claim of January being a very hot month. "I was in America for all of January," says Charles Smith. "And last I checked, America was a part of the world. I was cold as shit all month. So unless they decided to make America not be a part of the world, they can take their findings and shove 'em up their asses. Hot my ass."

Woman denies husband's request for her to hook up with his sisters by calling 911. An old man asked his somewhat-less-old wife if she'd have sex with his sisters. The lady was appalled by the request and called 911 to see if they could do anything.  They could not.  It's not known if the man's sisters were in on the request, or if they followed through without her.

Boy regrets carving swastika into his forehead, blames friends. Portland, Oregon teenager Dustin Murrain claims this friends took him into a shed, shot him with a BB gun, hit him with a crowbar and then carved a swastika into his forehead. Murrain's friends claim he's been talking about carving the swastika into his forehead himself for several months. This is only news because it happened in Portland. This kind of stuff happens daily in the South.

That's it. That's the news.