Marty and The News

News, again.

These are being credited for a big win in basketball

New trend shows that boobs are still popular.

Note left in girls bathroom stall.

Navy still trying to shake the perceived stigma of being weak, not helping themselves. When it comes to branches of the Military, the Navy is almost always near the bottom (the Air Force dropped below them from 2008-2010 when pirates were cool for a while). A big part of the stigma is out of the Navy's control. The other branches are just that cool. At times, the Navy doesn't help themselves. This is one of those times. A Naval ship is stuck on some coral reef in the Philippines. Nice job, Navy.

Woman who had been growing for 34 straight years finally stops, by dying.

Two groups of girls competing to see who's the baddest. Group one attacked a mother who was putting her child on the school bus. They refer to it as 'mobbing' or 'popping'. Group two gets cabs, chokes the driver and robs them. Experts say group two is the baddest, right now. "Group two has done this more than once," says baddest expert Charles Smith. "They are also getting money out of their badassery. Group one is on the rise though. Rumor is, they have more plans in the work and they are younger. In the end, not getting money for your badassery may prove to be the baddest. This should be a good one."

Seymour passed shortly after this photo was captured

Donkey in Botswana tries to stop Google Street View car. When word leaked last month that the Google Street View car would be coming through their neighborhood, donkeys in Botswana began plotting to stop it. "Ppphhhh," said one donkey. Expert donkey translator Charles Smith translates. The donkeys didn't want the road that leads to their community being on the Internet. A neighboring donkey community had the Google Street View car photograph their road last year. People just started driving on it, for no apparent reason. They were just driving on it because the road was on the Internet and must be famous. Things became dangerous for that donkey community. They didn't want that to happen in their town. Where are the young donkeys supposed to safely play with hundred of cars zooming by daily? Seymour the donkey was elected by the town to go and try negotiate with the driver of the Google car. The driver wanted none of it. Seymour was shot in the head before the Google Street View car drove off, capturing one final image of Seymour the donkey. Seymour is survived by his two kids, Penelope the donkey, 4, Chaz the donkey, 9, and his wife, Laura the donkey.

Dog kills man in Florida, police kill dog in Colorado and stop dog uprising. When a man in Florida was killed by a dog driving a van, police in Colorado feared the dog uprising was nigh. James Campbell, 68, had exited his van to open  the gate to his house, when a dog jumped into the car and pressed the accelerator. The man was killed instantly. As a precaution, police in Colorado entered the home of  Jeff Fisher and shot his dog three times. Dog uprising expert Charles Smith suspects the officers in Colorado helped keep the dog uprising at bay. "There is no doubt in my mind that had those officers not killed that dog in Colorado," says Smith, "we'd have a huge problem on our hands. Those officers showed dogs everywhere that we aren't going to put up with their bullshit."

That's it. That's the news.