Marty and The News

News, it's in short supply with the hurricane, but I've dug some up.

Natsu upset that he hasn't had sex yet. The man who purchased a Brazilian woman's virginity for $780,000 is upset that it hasn't happened yet. During the bidding process, the 20-year-old Brazilian claimed she could medically prove she is a virgin. However, experts say that they can't definitively prove whether she is a virgin or not. This hubbub over whether she is really a virgin or not, is causing the transaction to not be finished. "I don't really care either way," says Natsu, the winning bidder. "Just let me do my thing."

Winning done right

Preacher and all around crazy man, John McTernan, blames hurricane on Obama, Romney and of course, the gays. Usually when people make crazy statements, they leave a group of people out of it, in hopes that some agree with them. McTernan has found away to single out nearly everybody. Except those weird third party people, but most of them are gay.

Classic

Kindergarten teacher suspended for fake shooting two of her students in Facebook comments. Tameka Gatewood made the comments on Facebook when she became frustrated with two of her students arguing. In the comments, she makes reference to shooting the two students. "Bang! Bang! Shoot 'em up dammit!" She then says, "Just Kidding!!!" The fact that she actually spelled it out instead of just putting 'jk', lets you know that she was really just kidding. I only report on this story so I can put the picture up of one of the parents reacting to the comments.

I clicked on this article because it said Shakespeare had an STD. After reading it, this asshole is just talking about what is in this book that he wrote.

Man, Steven Ford, and his dog, Lola, found in their apartment watching TV with Michaela Beth Ford. Police found the couple and their dog in the apartment after neighbors had complained of strange smell. Police say Michaela has been dead for over 10 days. Steven told the police who entered the apartment, that she isn't dead. Steven was drunk at the time and has now rescinded his comments.

This story makes no sense. I'll break it down. There was this rave. Many of the kids there were intoxicated. Most, if not all, were underage. Police arrived at the scene to deal with the drunk kids. That's when this guy tried to land a helicopter. He couldn't though. There were all these people, drunk kids and police officers, walking around. The landing was aborted. A short while later, the man tries landing the helicopter again. People are still in the area, but he gets the helicopter landed. Police arrest the helicopter pilot and seize the helicopter. That's it. That's the story. No mention as to why this guy was trying to land his helicopter there.

A photo showing an angry hockey fan holding a sign asking if Gary Bettman, NHL Commissioner  and Donald Fehr, NHL Player's Union leader, will talk to him, has been circulating around the Internet. The lone NHL fan isn't the only one in the picture. There is a few innocent bystanders in the photo. Those people are upset that it now looks like they care about the NHL lockout. "I didn't even know there was a lockout or that it was hockey season," said one bystander. "I barley know what hockey is. I don't want my friends, my family or America thinking I care about this." Another man in photo has also reacted via Facebook. "Straight up bullshit. I was just leaning against this building drinking a coffee. Now all these people tagging me in this photo. I DON'T CARE ABOUT HOCKEY! STOP TAGGING ME!"

That's it. That's the news.