Marty and The News

News.

Jimmy Carter backs marijuana legalization. Carter claims he is calling for legalization because imprisonment for possession is out of control. Friends of Carter say he started smoking pot a few weeks ago and is also deathly afraid of prison.

Not royalty

Pippa Middleton wants everyone to know that she is still around. Pippa is not royal in anyway and is also not pregnant. She did write a book though, that no one is buying. She aslo said something about her 'bum'.

For the second time this week, a 'famous musician' dies. On Sunday, it was Jenni Rivera. Today it's Ravi Shankar. In both cases, no one had any idea these people existed until they died.

Teacher in France is suspended for having students write his suicide note. The teacher's name hasn't been released, but he's French, so we'll call him Pierre Gusteau. Gusteau didn't have much to live for and now he has almost nothing now that he's been suspended from his teaching job. Gusteau hadn't fully committed to suicide, but he was far enough along that he felt he should write a note just in case. He tried several drafts, but each time he was disappointed with the result. That's when Gusteau got the idea of having his student's write his suicided note. His plan was to have the student's write a pretend suicide note, or real one if that's how they felt. He would then pick the best one, or bits and pieces from each, for his perfect suicide note. The students completed the assignment, but school officials were able to intervene before Gusteau picked a 'winning' note. Before officials contacted him, Gusteau had only graded one note. Next to Gusteau's grade for the paper are the words, "not precise enough." School officials suspended Gusteau for his actions and released this statement explaining the suspension.

What Pierre Gusteau has done is inexcusable. We can't have our teachers using students to write their own suicide note, unless proper credit is given to the student or student's who really wrote it. It's called plagiarism. And we just won't stand for it. After questioning Mr. Gusteau, we have determined that he had every intention on plagiarizing from his students. We take plagiarism very seriously. We had no choice but to suspend Mr. Gusteau.

The house Ronald Reagan lived in while he was a child, is being torn down. For some reason, people care.

McKenna Pope, cu*t?

According to one Hasbro executive, 13-year-old McKenna Pope "is a cu*t." Pope tried to buy an Easy-Bake-Oven for her little brother, but she found that they only come in pink and purple. She wanted to change this, so she started a petition. She's collected more than 30,000 signatures on the petition. Although, it's believed that her parents collected 29,000 of the 30,000. The petition asks for Hasbro to make the Easy-Bake-Oven in gender neutral colors. Hasbro has agreed to meet with Pope to discuss the issue. We were able to reach one Hasbro executive and he has agreed to comment under the condition of anonymity. "I was supposed to go home at three today, but thanks to this whiny little brat, I have to go to this stupid meeting. The Easy-Bake-Oven is pink or purple because those are the colors that sell. We've tried all kinds of colors. They don't sell. We sold a blue one once. We sold two, worldwide. Now because of this entitled little girl, we have to discuss this again. We already know the answer. Other colors don't sell. She's the one with the problem. She's assigning colors gender. We're a business. Bottom line is, we make the colors that sell. We're not making other colors that don't sell because some little girl says they aren't gender neutral enough for her. She's a cu*t."

That's it. That's the news.